Still Wondering How To Handle Things!!

[kissak]

Thanks Trusting. Him saying he loves me does sound very promising. And is a definite change in him. It was probably 3 years to the day almost.

It was on Thanksgiving day 3 years ago that he decided it was over and he was going to leave me. I didnt find out till about 2 or 3 weeks later but I definitely noticed him not saying I love you back then.

Its amazing how they will leave you at such a "family" time of the year, but yet, they find themselves missing "family" when the next holiday season comes around and they wanna come back!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Kissak, it is a great feeling and one that throws you for a loop. Now is the time to remember everything you learned and not to pressure him into hearing it more.

Very smart move on your part about the holidays.

[mishka422]

Great golly kissak! From his own reaction to saying ILY, it had to have come from his subconscious and most likely his true feeling. That's wonderful.

Keep up the great work and the concentrating on you and the kids.

[kissak]

Jack, It definitly through me for a loop!!! Havent heard it again since and I think it may be a while.

Like you said Mishka, I believe it come from his subconscious and most likely his true feeling. Still lots of sorting out for him to do though.

It's hard for me to trust his feelings...they may be there today and gone tomorrow. I feel like waiting the holidays out is good. Probably even longer....I still have to handle him like he is breakable...Depression is such a hard thing to go through. I cant imagine actually being the one depressed. Although I did experience a horrible loss when he left me.

[cagzmom]

I CAN NOT believe this is the same girl!! WOW! you have grown!! WOW!!! so proud of you.

you have such a level head - not led by your "feelingS" ... Keep movin' kissak.. you are an inspiration

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Even after the MLC they are fragile for a long time.

It ain't the same Kissak, the loss of them leaving us. That is just one aspect of our life, not questioning every aspect of our life, like they do.

[kissak]

Thanks Cagz...I think I have grown quite a bit. I am trying SO hard to not be lead by my feelings...also, I do know that if this doesnt work out I will be ok. Im not scared anymore of what the future holds.

You are right Jack...They are so fragile...and I do see him question EVERY aspect of his life. Honestly Im not sure I see an end to his MLC for quite some time. Like he said, he may never get "better". This may be the "new" him.

[kissak]

Does anyone ever just NOT wanna do this standing thing??? Do you ever just get tired of being the sane one in this marriage??

Nothing has happened but Im just feeling low today. I have found myself going through what I would like to say to my H at times...like, I dont wanna do this anymore...I want someone to want to love me and be inlove with me! I feel like Im being neglected while he is going through his depression!! I mean, HELLO! I am still here you know...and lonely!! AND I do have guys lined up around the corner just waiting on me to say when!!

Im ok...just feeling the stress of it all today!!!!!!

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Does anyone ever just NOT wanna do this standing thing??? Do you ever just get tired of being the sane one in this marriage??

Yup, many many many times.

Everything is fuel for the fire of Standing. Hope, hate, anger, patience, everything that can burn in your engine should be burned, until you don't have any more. And then you do it awhile longer for spite.

Everyone has their breaking point. The idea of standing is to outlast their MLC and look fricking amazing to them when they do come out of it.

[mishka422]

Good luck with that kissak! I definitely didn't have the patience and saw myself as accepting disrespect due to the A. You have a real chance here, just hold on!!!!!!