That is a lot to take in all at once. I think I'm going to come back, read it again, and then maybe I'll have something more helpful to say.
Until then, I'll just say that you're doing a lot of the right things, but any changes are going to take time. You may be surprised how long you can work on this if you can get to a place where you see progress. I felt I was near the end of my rope, too, two years ago--but I've made progress and now although I don't have everything perfectly figured out, I don't feel as lost.
