Greek, Thank you. The relationship with the OM is safe and secure(on the surface). He likely agrees with her, is percieved at listening to her more than I, and only can bring her joy. He cannot hurt her(in her mind). I, on the other hand, am a danger. I can be aluff, needy, distant, angry and all kinds of other potentially negative things. In other words, I have the potential to hurt her. She is walling herself off from that pain and trading it in for a feel good relationship.
To me the OM friendship/EA is a sympthom, a byproduct, of the deterioration of our relationship which I bear equal fault. I have had issues this year with anger and resentment. I have neglected my needs and pursued hers with semi-recless abandon. The result--I have been unhappy and unpleasant to be around some of the time. BTW, I express anger through passive aggression. I have a sharp tounge when riled up. I have come to understand my anger and discovery the extend of her unhappieness. Now, she has her issued too. But I can't do much about that right now, if ever. So I view the OM as a sympthom of a deeper problem, like a fever is to an infection. Sorry for the rant. Any thoughts?
