I thought about it that maybe the holidays have something to do with his change of behaviour - not sure of that - it started already in October - he went for a short trip to Romania with his budddy and I sent him a text to wish him a good trip and that he really deserved a break.
But you're analysing that again. Just accept his change of behaviour as what it is, just a change. No matter what is changing it, it's a good change. Work with it and move on.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
The teacher of my youngest DS(8) called me in today and tells me that he is constantly interrupting her and the class and hasn't settled at all since the start of the new school year - this is the first time this has happened - such a crap
I am a teacher...what discipline measures has she put into place? Is she "loose" with behavior management?
Oh and we do need to observe changes of behavior in WS to see if our strategies are working (it's in Divorce Remedy) but not get too excited about the small stuff. Like P17 told me, notice it but it's part of the whole jigsaw.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
She hasn't really said what measurements she has taken - she just said she is at him every day - I hadn't a clue until today. He is ok at home - he had a few angry outbursts and is sometimes moody since the split but I actually think that we are much closer now.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
not good - I got nasty text messages yesterday of WH - he signed a form for us to pay a reduced mortgage rate from the 1st of December 09 on - so I took the money yesterday from our joined account and paid. Apparently he is off for one week from Sunday on and says now he can't come home and that I should have asked him first before taking his money.Note that we are already 2 months in mortgage arrears and this was a good offer from the bank. I thought him signing was enough but maybe I have to spell everything out for him from now on.
He planned on coming home for X-Mas which is in 3 weeks so I am not sure why he wants to come home now as the flight will be so expensive.And even if I would have asked him - would he have booked the flight and not paid the mortgage?
It's not that money was always his thing - I spent a lot during our marriage while he was working abroad and I have completely changed over the last few months - but I can't make myself disappear - separation or not - he still has to pay the same as before.He wanted to keep everything as it is for the moment - he hasn't even seen a lawyer - and that's the result.
We are in debt but I still think he could just book the flight and come home in 2 days if that's what he wants - I am just worried he will walk around and tell his family that I am the reason he couldn't come home now.
Well what would have happened if you didn't pay the mortgage? Bad news! sheesh-- now don't worry about his family. Will you see them for Christmas?
I think it sounds like he is in a bad mood about something else and is blaming you for this. He still gets to come home for Christmas right?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
newmama, yes you are correct he is worried - he is not sure if they renew his contract or not - but he doesn't have to take it out on me - you wouldn't believe the text messages I am getting -I called him this evening and had it out with him on the phone - I said to him that he calls me every week and we talk about so much and then something important like this comes up and he gets back to nasty text messages - like a little child - honestly. And the one thing which comes up over and over again - that I have brought us into this situation with my spending - and he is correct, I have spent far too much in the past - but I am done feeling guilty about it - I have changed so much in that area and I am working on getting rid of our debts. It just seems he hasn't changed a bit since April - he just stood still and thaty is so sad. I asked him what did he think would happen after he signed the form for the mortgage? And you know what he answered: that he didn't read the 2 first pages and just signed it - by the way he took that back later as I didn't believe him anyway. We agreed on a text message from me in future in case he wants me to wait a few days until next pay day. he could have just said that but now he had to unleash all his anger onto me as usual.I feel like I am married to a 5 year old whinging child sometimes.
