libby, The stages and time lines are just "maps" for the course. No two people will go through the stages/time lines the same way. Why? Because each human being is different personality wise, childhoods are different and people just react differently. So, toss the maps out the window and listen to the group.
First, protect your assets. Second, live your life to the fullest. Third, keep the focus on you and your children. Fourth, leave the door ajar, but keep moving foward and last but not least. Fifth, understand that it is a 50/50 chance that he may not want to reconcile when he grows up, if he grows up.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
