I feel the lines that I draw in this arena come from strength and confidence. I am not accepting this behavior, I am basically saying to her that you are going to do what you are going to do and I am going to handle it. If I am confrontational about it, then, I fall into the trap of being jealous and blowing it out of proportion. Taking the high road is much more honorable than pursuing a married woman. She will recognize this or she will not. I have said my peace on the issue to her and in counseling. It is up to her make a choice. In the meantime, I can present in a confidently and gracefully. Does this make sense?
I understand what and why you are doing it. It doesn't work.
Here's why, put yourself in her shoes - your wife invests her time, emotions (feelings which are HUGE to women), energy, thoughts, desires, dreams, and needs with another man. You stand tall and ignore it (in her mind ignoring her). She sees you being passive and another man is eager to fill all her needs. He is bold and strong going after a married woman. Sure she is confused you are adding to her confusion. Do you want to help her see clearly? Without being jealous or blowing things out of proportion? By taking a very honorable, strong and decisive stand that will be very attaractive to your wife?
You are thinking like you are dealing with another man. You are dealing with your wife who is having a affair. Have you ever done this before? We see it numerous times a day here and have experience in what works and what doesn't. I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe in marriage and how to improve yourself.
Cheers Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
