Okay, I'll skip the photos. I just know that I would want some if they were with him, so I thought it might be a good thing to do.
Yes, but he's not you.
If he's going to blow up your marriage, then he gets to develop his own relationship with his kids. Running interference and helping him out just puts all of the burden on you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
If he's going to blow up your marriage, then he gets to develop his own relationship with his kids. Running interference and helping him out just puts all of the burden on] you.
I know. I know. I just feel soooo bad for the guy. He has only seen the kids 3 times since 10/26 and hasn't seen or spoken to them at all since 11/21. Something has got to give here!! I'm starting to feel like I need to start making the kids go visit and call.
Finally, my mother is driving me nuts. She talks about lawyers and D more than my H. I don't whine and complain to her, so it's not a matter of her wanting me out of pain. She has just decided to hate my H and wants him gone forever. I finally snapped and told her to stop harassing me and told her I know what needs to be done. She got huffy and said goodbye.
I need some guidance, please.
Boundaries are healthy in all relationships.
"I feel harassed and pressured by you when you talk about lawyers and getting a divorce. When you bring this up again I will ask you to stop, if you continue to do it then I will leave the room. This has the potential to damage our relationship long term."
Find your voice and calmly state it. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Find your voice and calmly state it. You can handle it.
Cheers
Thanks, Coach. I'm going to try. One of my 180s is to stand up to my mother. Everyone cowers down to her will, except H, and I know he always thought I needed to stand up to her.
SG, just wanted to stop by and see how things are going. Stay strong. You are doing an amazing job with the kids and the H. He will realize what he is missing one day, and by then it may be too late. That is none of your concern. Your job is to make sure your children are healthy and happy. If they choose not to invite him to school events, respect their decision and go have a good time. I wish you all the best.
Me: 33 / H: 36 M: 10y / T: 14y 3 kids BD: 2/22/14 Live in separation 3/8/14 H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14 H moved out 4/25/14 2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
Thanks for the support, PiGA. Today was a weird day. This award was pretty big, and it's the kind of thing H would have been there for. It was a little sad looking at all the other award recipients with both of their parents. I felt somewhat better when my daughter took my hand and said it's us against the world, mom. I adore her!!
You're right about him realizing what he's missing someday. I have firsthand experience with that. I haye some issues with my father (as an adult), and I ended up having my step-father walk me down the aisle when I got married. I felt he deserved it more. The father-daughter relationship is very precarious. You would think my H would know that.
