Anyway, I would appreciate some insight into how to break this script she is following. I would especially appreciate hearing from women.
Well, I'm not a woman, but you're never going to break the script until you break the affair.
As long as she is having an affair, she will follow the basic script. All you can really do is try to validate-without-agreeing, give her a wide berth, lay out (and enforce) a couple of basic boundaries (such as "no text-messaging OM in front of me," for example; or "no lying to my face") -- but that's about it.
