feel like giving up - talk to me!

[Gnosis]

Bridge, I hope you stick around.

Luv could use some lessons in how to rebuild her self-esteem and sense of worth. I 'breezed through' your thread a while ago and was too shy to say anything then, so I'll say it now: RESPECT.

[luvless]

Thank you bim - thank you for that. I'm sorry that you know "exactly" how I feel

I am trying not to let this get the best of me. We all know how hard that is. I am scared the light will flick off and no matter what he does he won't be able to turn it back on.

I will continue my struggle to be patient with this cold man and work on me in the process.

[luvless]

G - my self esteem has taken a beating and I feel especially low right with no control over my life. I am not that kind of woman so I am doing everything in my power to stay afloat.

[Gnosis]

I will continue my struggle to be patient with this cold man and work on me in the process.

OK then!

I want you to sit down and list THREE things you're going to do, starting TODAY, that will make you feel better immediately. List them here. Get off the board and go do them. I expect a progress report tomorrow because I'm going to hold you to them.

[Gnosis]

G - my self esteem has taken a beating

I know that Luv.

I feel especially low right with no control over my life.

I know you feel low, but you're mistaken. You know why? Because only you can decide what to think. Only you can decide what to feel. So... as far as absolute control goes... you have it.

I am not that kind of woman

I know that, you know that... and guess what... plenty of others here know that too!

so I am doing everything in my power to stay afloat.

Great! Start with my previous post. I'm looking forward to that list.

I just stole this from another thread I'm following and thought it would help you:

Seriously, brother, you can look at this as a blessing or a curse. <snip> Choose Blessing. You can wake up each morning and decide how you will IMPROVE yourself and YOUR LIFE without the stress of your wife, marriage, and those issues. You can wake up each morning and decide how you will IMPROVE yourself and YOUR LIFE with your first cup of coffee. Then go for it. The game has changed. Embrace it.

This is the mindset I was trying to instill with you for those THREE things

[luvless]

I just read that post by Steve - It went straight to my heart.

Ok here's the 3 things.

WORK OUT
GET TOEs DONE
SHOPPING

[luvless]

Oh I have to tell you - his office dinner is tomorrow night (which I dread) but I am going anyway. He asked me two weeks ago and recently talked about it (as if I'm still gonna go) so I will put on a FAKE happy face and go. I really hate this part.

I've never had a bad Christmas with him - he is creating new lasting memories for me.

[Gnosis]

I'm holding you to it.

[Gnosis]

Here's what you're going to do... tomorrow you're going into that party with a different mindset. You're going to enjoy yourself irrespective of H or not. You're usually the quiet one right? Well, tomorrow night you're going to make some noise... (do not drink) Add this to your assignment today: Get online and find three new jokes. Memorize them and practice telling them (to your kids).

At dinner tomorrow night you're going to tell your jokes, meet new people and completely ignore your H and his antics. Turn the tables around on him. Mirror his behavior. Dance with a stranger. Have fun. Laugh. And enjoy yourself.

[Bridgestone]

Bridge, I hope you stick around.

Luv could use some lessons in how to rebuild her self-esteem and sense of worth. I 'breezed through' your thread a while ago and was too shy to say anything then, so I'll say it now: RESPECT.

Thanks for your kind words. A long painful journey, but I have my own self-respect back..that is priceless.

I'll keep reading along here. I tend to read about 100x more than I post, my sitch doesn't fit many here so I'm usually reluctant to post. However, with LL... I could hear myself a few short/long years ago...

I know she's in good hands with you.

Peace
Bridge