Living, Loving, & Learning one day at a time

[ddstartingover]

Treese - so good to hear from you. I made T-giving dinner at my house. It was a small gathering----my mom, sister, neice and kids. I did invite H, though (via e-mail). I guess I still felt like I should. I invited him to dinner and let him know of some scheduling things coming up, including the fact that the kids wanted to go to the tree farm and pick out a tree the day after Thanksgiving. He responded a day later via text----said he was going to volunteer for leukemia foundation and deliver meals on Thursday. The kids had already told me that he told them this was his plan. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. I don't know----I know before I wouldn't have questioned what he really was doing. I told him he could come when he finished. He thanked me. He then asked if late in the day would be ok to pick out tree on Friday. I said yes------but then when Friday came, the kids wanted to go early, so we did. Gave him a chance to meet us there, but he declined. The skeptic that I am wondered if he spent Thursday with OW and then didn't want to come back to town until late Friday..................but I really don't care at this point. I didn't expect him to participate in either, but extended the invitation, because that's who I am.

He contacted D16 later in the day and told her when he wanted her to come to his place with the other two kids----and they left. I spent the rest of the weekend without my kids and it SUCKS! I will have them Christmas Eve (being a Thursday), but it is his weekend, so he'll take them some time on Christmas Day----and it will KILL me.

It was a balmy 65 degrees (very unseasonal here) Saturday so I put the lights on the house and got the decorations up from the basement. I hung stockings and tried to pretend like it was no big deal. I sobbed most of the afternoon when the reality hit----and all the memories of Christmases past flooded in.

I'm back on the boards to help get thru the Holidays.......