I will be leaving for work soon, and when I come home she will be gone.
We slept in our/my bed last night and then this morning she got up early and left. We had a very brief cuddle before she got out of bed and few words were exchanged. While to me this is the biggest day of my life, she seems very cold and acts like it's not really the end of our marriage. She even referred to me as a "drama queen" when I said it would likely be the last time in our lives we wake up together, cuddle etc.
While it makes me sad that she cares so little, it also makes me realize it's time to move on with my life. It actually makes me a little angry and I can use that anger today.
The third stage of my life starts today. I am scared and lonely.
Well change that. You now have freedom. You no longer have pressure to be any kind of husband to her, just like she is enjoying not having any pressure to be any kind of wife to you.
As for the comment about not being a "drama queen" from her, she is enjoying her power in this relationship, do you think she doesn't know how much you want her and want your marriage to work? You've played into her hands so much and the only appeal left in all of this for her is that she still enjoys pulling your strings & controlling you.
Seriously, it was an insensitive thing for her to say but she said it anyways because she knows how you feel, you've been an open book up until this point.
Start living your life.
Start enjoying it.
As for your wife, I'm going to say this again because no doubt I've mentioned this somewhere in your thread or someone else's. Your wife is leaving and you need to be OK with that instead of broken. What I want you to do is grieve the end of this relationship and then MOVE ON. If she ever comes back, make her work for it, don't allow her to easily come back into your life. She is creating havoc in your life, turning your life upside down without any regard for the marriage that she helped create. If your wife is leaving your home to move into her own apartment, it isn't so that she can find herself again. Read between the lines. Would she need another apartment if she were going back to school to get a degree to obtain a new job or figure out a new career path? She only needs an apartment to sleep with another man, just because she doesn't come out & say it, doesn't mean that this isn't a plan that's in place. She is careless (ie. the comment she mentioned this morning) and reckless with what she is doing. She isn't used to having this much choice in her life: staying married, living at home with you and working on creating a great new relationship with you or moving out, experiencing the world and other men. She has alot of options and people who don't know what they want can create alot of pain for the people around them (ie. YOU).
Honestly, grieve for a week and then host a party at your place: guys & girls, have a blast.
Move on with your life.
You want a chance at getting her back, move on with your life as if it's over with her.
The sooner you detach, the sooner that any change that is possible will actually happen.
