Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Augtan-
You are right each person's situation is different and yet very similar.

I do think I'll be able to trust my H again. I already have forgiven him. I think sometimes that at this point he has to forgive me and he isn't there yet. I asked for his forgiveness a few weeks ago, forgiveness for not hearing him, for not understanding him better, for lots of things. He said he appreciated me asking for his forgiveness and thought he could just say "I forgive you"- but I siad he needs to think about it and process it and when he no longer has anger about the past, that will be when he forgives me.

I have a limit with living with H like this. I guess i'll know it when I hit it. I'm a pretty patient person in most(but not all) circumstances.

I really try hard to see H's behaviors for what they are(MLC)-more as symptoms of his 'disease'...the things he's done and said really are totally alien to the H I've known for 21 years.

In some ways H is more 'normal' now, there is just no love/no intimacy...he's just sharing the townhome and bed and parenting. Not sure if this is how he is really feeling (and therefore he'll leave again permanently) or if its a stage in the whole process. In any case its very disconcerting b/c I don't feel really anything positive or negative from H right now.