LOL...Jack I do repeat things back to her and then she looks at me and asks "Why are you doing that?". I of course reply that it is proactive communication that I am practicing and get the "Dork!" statement. The biggest breakdown in our communication seems to be when the kids are around. All three of them will be talking to me about different things and then I always seem to respond to the wrong person. I have to work on setting boundaries with the kids that when others are talking it isn't polite to interrupt with barbie or pokemon discussions.
I thought about your changing history comment....really it isn't looking for justification or changing history. It seems like nothing I have done through the years has been good enough. Actually I would say unappreciated even and this predates the current situation. Pathetically I used to go to Wifes/moms forums and research what woman wanted out of their spouse. This was an attempt on my part to be a better husband than what I felt like at the time. So I read about wife's/moms wanting help doing dishes, cooking, laundry, cleaning, week nights with the girls...etc. So I tried desperately to put into my married life what all these woman complained about. So Laundry for example...I would do laundry and then get "you didn't do it all". Then I would do it all and get "You didn't separate it right". So then I would do it all, separate it right and get "you didn't fold it right". This was a constant part of our relationship in many facets right from dating. Very rarely would I get a "thank you" or "at least you tried". More often than not the reply was "You didn't do it right". Then I would eventually give up on trying.
Of course the flip side to all that...after being in this situation for so long, she finally noticed that I try. She said to me this weekend "One good thing that has come out of this is that after two years you know what it is like to be me and have changed how you think about my life". So I guess a baby step.
