frankly, I think the perfume means nothing. Getting you something means SOMETHING, he thought of you during the trip. However, my guess is that men will just pick up whatever that happens to be within eyesight at that time. My H calls when he's driving, and buys me stuff at the airport. I can get mad about him not spending dedicated time in getting me stuff or sitting down properly and call me, but I can also think of it as he calls me/buy stuff whenever he has free time.
SH being prepared for it to go either way is a good place to be so continue on with things your life go out dont be super available Gal be FUN take his lead take care of you your situation is positive either way the wind blows you are better off as frinds I think thw egift is important he was thinking of you for whatever reason peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I guess there are some updates - but again, H is following the script and doing the advance/retreat thing. My patience is most definitely being tested at this point, but experience I've gained over last few years has helped keep my expectations and excitedness down. My brain's been retrained to think of H's behavior more as weird rather than promising - although I absolutely recognize it all as positive for HIM.
Some firsts since bomb that have occured over the past few weeks: - joined us for dinner out with group of old friends (his best friends) and all our kids, all families - accepted invitation to wedding where we would be seated together as family - sometimes daily phone calls for no specific reason (followed by none for several days) - asking my opinion on important matters - expressed regret and disappointment when he had to cancel on wedding - lent me his fairly new car while away on business - accepted my offer to drive him to airport - hugged me when I dropped him off at airport - reconnecting with friends he fell out with during MLC - planning Christmas dinner with us and close friends and their families
Ok, so when I write it all down, I can actually see the major strides he's taking. I still think it's premature to say H is out of the tunnel, but knowing my H, once he starts finding his way out, I think he'll start running out. As much as I would like that considering time and patience, I hope H takes his time to fully reflect on what's happened.
H is making his actions about the kids, which I'm very happy about, especially for them. No mention of me or an us, or our R yet - think I'll get excited if/when there ever is. For now, my feeling is more of relief that the worst is behind him/us.
As much as I'm ok without him, I find myself really missing him lately.
From the update, it looks like he is connecting with old friends. Usually they connect with friends before connecting with the wife, right? It is a good sign. But I agree totally with you not to read too much into it. This is hard, to not be sure about the meaning of his actions. Take care, and keep on living. (something to tell myself, too :-)
sh He really seems like he is coming around you are doing great it is nice to see/hear them move through what seemed like the stages whatever the outcome , it is better than it was keep us posted! peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Out of boredom, went through H's list of friends on fb. What a way to keep my expectations in check. Am now feeling rather naive and foolish for thinking he could be turning a corner. The list of scantly-clad, sub-30 year old girls is nauseating. It's pretty obvious from his list of friends that going back to being a family man is not on his agenda.
Need to remind myself that although he may be coming out of MLC, it doesn't mean he'll want his family back.
Haven't heard from H since he's been away. So much easier to detach when there's no contact. Annoyed with myself though because, as good as I am at detaching when there's NC, I turn to mush at the simple sight of his name showing up on my phone when he calls.
Feeling the need to move forward with the D - as if that would give me some control of the situation. Not a good reason, is it? Losing my balance, my patience, and my compassion for H. (All triggered by his fb friend list!)
