Divorced and want to reconcile...

[dday101798]

hmmmmmmmm,

You know as I was going along reading your post here, I was thinking that maybe your XH just has inner issues relating and understanding the female emotion (especially in light of what has happened between you two), but then the comment of not being his responsibility? That throws me through a loop, so I don't know what to tell you there. I adopted our oldest (S12) right off the bat. He is no less my child then S11 we had together, and is every bit my responsibilty the same. I get so inruriated by stories of how some spouses and former spouses 'punish' the kids by taking the marital issues out on them.

I'm really sorry for what is going on and I just can't vouch 100% for why your XH would act that way.

To maybe intigrate a bit of my current situation with yours, he does just need some more space and time, that is for sure. With my XW, yes, I have a trust issue obviously as well. For some reason tho, should anything get 'really' going, I'm not worried about it. I have nothing to lose, and she has all to gain by taking the chance, but most importantly, being forth right. My approach to it is that she needs to spend time on her own. Yes, we can go to dinner or have a few drinks here and there, but contrary to what everyone around me is thinking, no, we're not going to run off and get a place together and live happily ever after again, that's just ridiculous. She needs to clense her head and life of OM.

But, the bottom line is, just as seemed that all hope was lost, a switch was flipped and the person that was my W is back. Not the vile, manipulative player that emerged when that switch was flipped the other way round.

Keep you head up, give him his space, and keep the R talk to a bare minimum!!!!! I think he's just slow to soak it all in and the more that gets piled on top of the last round, the more confused he gets?