that's for sure he's not thinking or acting straight. i just get the feeling that i'm fighting a loosing battle.
About 2 months ago, I remember telling a friend of mine that my marriage is over and I don't see any way of salvaging it. Things are a lot different now than they were then (not that we're totally out of the woods).
It is difficult to see the big picture, especially when part of it is locked up in your husband's head. Just keep working on your part of the relationship.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
that gives me some help, i'm really bad about being patient and know this is just the beginning. i can't get him to do anything until he's ready so just go on with my life as though he does not exist or is part of my decision process.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
that gives me some help, i'm really bad about being patient and know this is just the beginning.
Patience is my big hurdle to overcome, too. I feel for you.
As others have said, divorce busting isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. You have to pace yourself for the long haul.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Now i can do those, when not pregnant. because i can control the situation and this is one i have no control over with him.
found out it's going to cost me more to have d2 in daycare then expected. and in 8 weeks i have to had my son after he's born so i can quickly get back to work so i don't loose my house.
atleast i have the help of my niece. was so upset today for the situation for having to have a csection and rush back to work a week later.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Have you thought about a roommate? A live in nanny kind of thing? Allowing someone to stay in the house might be kind of lame, but its better than losing the house, or sending your D2 and S to your MILs house. Also, have you given any thought to moving to a place that you wont be so strapped to take care of?
I have been very tenacious about staying in my house, but honestly, as time is going on, Im more and more open to moving on. My plan is to rent the house out to make my mortgage payment, and live in a cheaper apt while I go to school in a city not too far from where I am now. Then when I eventually am able to retire, it will be income! Now Im even starting to think seriously about selling it... I could pay off my car, and live off the rest of the money for a while!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
well i went to the concilliation appointment, talked to the mediator and h did not show up. now what is that saying? he has no interest and now i will be freed to file for divorce....don't want to but...
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
well i went to the concilliation appointment, talked to the mediator and h did not show up. now what is that saying? he has no interest and now i will be freed to file for divorce....don't want to but...
No, it's saying "don't mind-read". If you want to know why he didn't make it, then ask him. Personally, I wouldn't -- let him talk to you about it when he's ready.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
going to wait a few weeks and go from there. i will be on break from work can seek an attoney's advice for h's fradulent use of my credit card, him being legally aloud in usa but not legally allowed to work, non american citizen.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
Whats going to ideally happen as far as the birth is concerned? He will open up the dialogue about it? Does he try to see D2 at all? Im not sure if you should break the silence about the birth, but I am sensing that you want him there, maybe a time when he visits her would be a good chance to bring it up.
Have you spoken to the credit card companies? At least cancel the old ones and get new ones with new numbers on them so that he cant use them anymore?
I think that you should call one of the phone coaches!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
