WAW on suicide watch, what now???

[MHL]

I have not set up an IM yet, when I have more time I will. The last post I made was from work and then got busy and could not look at the thread anymore. After work it is full on Daddy mode until now 10:45pm.

I did have to send a text and an email only but there was no response. We rely/ or relied I should say on both our incomes to survive as do many families do these days. Right or wrong it is a fact, probably triggered, no definitely triggered the downfall of the M earlier this year. I don't think she is back to work yet. I think she is still out of town at SIL's but is out of hospital but is still being treated on an outpatient basis, just a guess at this point. So w/o any of her income coming in I had to make some decisions and I still want to be nice about things and not create more tension between us but I had to separate financially so that I can keep the house and the kids afloat.

My D13 and I spoke tonight about my W, and the possibility of them starting some sort of reconciliation but it is still too soon and I only touched on the subject. My D13 went on to tell me that my W had asked her to lie to me about having extra phones which I knew and I have come to find out that she has openned multiple credit cards. I have to pull my credit asap to make sure I am not liable for the debt she is incurring. The rabbit hole is getting deeper each day. I really am in touch with a statement Michele has in DR that talks about the marriage map and the final stage of M when, "the alien that abducted your spouse is kind enough to return the person to you that you met so many years ago". I truly do not know this person that is my W, she has abandoned all the morals,qualities and principles that I thought made up the fabric of who she is/was. I don't love the person she is right now, I love the person she was, that is the person I want back.

I will finish on a positive note for the night. On top of all this cr*p that has happened this year in my M. I am having to change job locations, just locally not out of town but still not a good thing right now. For the past 3 years I have worked 2 miles from my home and my kids' schools are just 1 mile from the house. I had work, home, and school inside about a 2 mile radius which has been a gift from God. Tomorrow I have to travel 25 miles one way to work, no increase in pay just an arbitrary move, but at least I still have my job. Well tonight in the car I was telling my children that tomorrow night I would not be home as soon b/c of my job location change. They knew and or sensed that I was not happy about it, which of course I am not. My S9 said something that reminded me just how much God does love me tonight. My S9 said from the back seat, "Dad, remember from church, God puts you right where he wants you for a reason and I bet you will find out the reason why tomorrow." Thank God for my children they are truly blessings from Him, and sometimes, no a lot of times they lift us up when we are down. Thank goodness it was dark already otherwise my kids would have seen the tears rolling down my face as we drove home listening to Christmas music. In our darkest hour sometimes we have to look at the world through our children's eyes to realize just how much we have to be thankful for and that we are surrounded by God's love.