Do not second guess yourself re: OW. If your gut tells you that's what is going on then that IS what is going on. Your mind will try to talk you out of it but all the signs point to OW and most of us here have heard the "We're just friends" line of bs.
If you need hard proof then follow Puppy's and Gardener's advice. Don't just sit around driving yourself crazy with what ifs. Stop making excuses for why things can't be done. Take action, get back in control of your own life. Trust me, it feels much better knowing that you have some say in what is going on.
Have you read the Dobson book yet? Do it. Keep in mind the man is seriously conservative Christian and he has written a book about tough love.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
