He wants to come home....HELP!

[SDFoundGirl]

Honey, it's a marathon, not a sprint. From bomb to when I think I could say with 100% certainty that we'd fully recommitted to each other and moved on was three years.

Hear me? THREE years.

Now, the "intense" part was closer to seven months, but that was with hard core DBing.

What I see you doing is relying on your H to make you happy...to fill you up. That's why, when he doesn't act in a way that's pleasing or attentive to you, your PMA goes in the crapper. You have got to get to a space where you make yourself happy, NO MATTER WHAT your H is doing.

It *is* possible. Are you in IC? Go. As much as you can. There are things you need to work on for yourself. Go out, make friends, pick up a hobby, do things that interest you. You might have to fake the funk for a while, but eventually you'll find that you're enjoying life! Even with a long faced alien grumping around the house.

It seemed to me like the more I GAL, the better my PMA, the more Phantom of the Opera my H got. And I just ignored him. Smiled, went out on dates with him when he asked, acted As If.

That summer is one of the HAPPIEST summers I've ever had, and in the midst of my H's full blown (one sided) PMA where I found love letters he'd written and heard her laughing at me, referring to ME as an alien because of my 180s. But I met a lot of people, I saw movies H never wanted to see, I found a local writing group and reignited my interest in writing, I danced around the house in my underwear, I read oodles of books, I turned my bedroom into MY oasis...do you see?

So you've got to stop reacting to your H, stop expecting him to make you happy or sad or whatever. Be happy now. It's YOUR JOB anyway.

SD