Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

I think they must be trained to (or used to) working with people who are so focused on their WAS that the only way to get them stop obsessing is to get them to focus somewhere else.

They don't really say "find someone who loves you" in so many words. They say "Start thinking of and envisioning your future. There are other people out there for you. You will be able to find someone. You don't need to live in a negative relationship. You don't need to live without sex. There are other people out there for you"

It all leads to the same thing...

And the funny thing is that I am not going in there unhappy and obsessive. I have done all of that envisioning and I know what is out there. I know that if the door closes on this R another will open. I'm not worried about it. I am choosing (for now) not to pursue it.

The C today even pushed me on it a bit when I was sitting there next to my W. I stopped him short "Stop!, Why are you pushing us to get divorced when we haven't decided that is what we want ourselves" He apologized and backpedaled a bit.

This does, however, seem to be their standard mode: If a couple comes in who aren't happy and who aren't making steps toward reconciliation, then start working them toward a decision to D.

Both of these people are IC's who venture into MC, not full time MC's. I have yet to find someone who focuses on MC.