feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

Oh don't get me wrong G - I'm not being rude here I just want you to "get me" ya know? You are doing a great job. Don't give up on me.

Hmm..what works? I guess me not talking about R and letting him ignore me and think everything is ok - that works for him - not for me! I do notice when I blow it he does an "uh oh" and tries to be nicer so I guess he is just manipulating me right now. I refuse to play games. He is immature and sarcastic. I'm just biting my tongue but blood is dripping everywhere!

[mindfull]

Luvless... GNO is helping me, too. (didn't see who else is chiming in here). Can't wait to read your thread. Are we married to the same man? And, Good Lord! THREE TEENS! I have a D18 who has caused me to just need highlights to requiring full color!!!

Back in touch later...

[Gnosis]

Hey L, I know you're not being rude. Chill out, you've got enough to worry about. I don't get offended easily. And, yeah, I "get you," there's nothing to worry about.

You are doing a great job.

Aww, shucks, thanks. I'm trying.

Don't give up on me.

I won't.

Hmm..what works? I guess me not talking about R and letting him ignore me and think everything is ok - that works for him - not for me!

I hear you.

I do notice when I blow it he does an "uh oh" and tries to be nicer so I guess he is just manipulating me right now.

I'm really sorry about that.

I refuse to play games.

What kind of games is he playing with you?

I'm just biting my tongue but blood is dripping everywhere!

You have my deepest sympathies. I can "hear" your frustration and I know this is not easy.

I've kind of been up, down and all over today... You say he's the 'big mouth' in the R. Can you give me an idea of what he's like... besides being a sarcastic, immature pain in the neck.

When he talks, what does he talk about?
What line of work is he in?
What are his interests?

[luvless]

When we are "fighting" he gets very pompous...very and it's so annoying. It's like some girl at the office told him how great he was. It grosses me out because if I acted like that with every compliment or ego rub I've gotten I'd be a straight out a**hole! He is a big talker in all social settings except with me when we're alone. In the car (even when not fighting) he's really quiet. No one can get a word in kinda guy. He talks alot about his job/people at work. It annoys me because I think there is so much more important things to talk about. He is in the real estate biz - commercial lending. He loves golf but never plays - he likes outdoors stuff like camping and traveling. We both enjoy much of the same things and music so that is a plus for us but guess none of that matters right now huh?

[luvless]

Mindfull - maybe we are married to the same guy as a million other woman are LOL Three teens are rough. I thought they were tough when they were toddlers - that was nuthin lol I feel like sometimes I live in a frat house. My kids are good though I guess I can't complain too much. I feel like I've done all the raising - taught them all the manners and morals and such. H is home alot more than other husbands but has not been a very good father. I guess I judge him harshly here bcuz even though we are two I feel alone in raising them. He is here but "not here" know what I mean? Please don't think I'm sounding harsh - it is what it is. My H is just not there for me and the kids. To the outside world he seems swell but I know the truth

anyway...thanks for coming by M - hugz!

[Kettricken]

Do you even *like* your husband? I totally understand that you're hurt and frustrated .... but your language -- "freak", "immature", he "grosses you out", and you find his chosen topics of conversation unimportant. It sounds like you despise him.

Is that true?

[TrentC]

Do you even *like* your husband? I totally understand that you're hurt and frustrated .... but your language -- "freak", "immature", he "grosses you out", and you find his chosen topics of conversation unimportant. It sounds like you despise him.

At the very least, there's a communication and understanding gap. Some of this stuff may seem unimportant to you, but it may be important to him. Meeting him halfway is not a bad idea.

This is straight out of The Five Love Languages and His Needs Her Needs; if he cannot find the emotional support he needs from you -- quality time, words of encouragement, or whatever -- then he will find it somewhere else; that is how affairs start and marriages end.

[Gnosis]

Hey guys, let the lady vent. She's got reason to be frustrated and Luvless is answering some questions I asked. Bear in mind that if she didn't have feelings for this man she wouldn't be here trying to save her marriage.

L, I've read the 5 Love Languages and it's good. Before you get to that, and if you feel like reading, I'd recommend Men are from Mars and women are from Venus beforehand. It will give you an understanding of your H first, then 5 LL's will help you find his 'attraction button'

In the meantime, at least from my side, vent away... (and expect to be called out on some of the things you do)

[luvless]

I do not "like" him right now. The way he is behaving is so very hurtful. I am left with my needs unmet and I don't have affairs. It's the easy way out. I am trying hard here and I am a good wife. My H is just being a jerk and I am venting.

I do meet him...more than half way. I guess that's why I'm so resentful. I feel like he should do the same.

[Gnosis]

LL, I'm gonna digest what you've shared so far today and want to mull over it. I hope I have something for you tomorrow... I hope it doesn't send me into another three day tailspin again LOL.