DanceQueen, yes the other situation has worked out with virtually no problems for several decades. They are both still married, share a household, but each are involved with other people. The kids all know it and are OK with it (more of a French culture, for sure). The "affairs" are not short term -- they've gone on for 20+ years. Neither of the other parties wants to get married -- they have their own lives and situations. I know that sounds strange to American ears. As one of our therapists said, that's unusual and it's like hitting the jackpot for that to work out for everyone without significant problems. So I'm not claiming that I can make it work out that well, but I do have some of that way of thinking, I suppose, and I've seen first-hand how it can work. My wife is well aware of that arrangement too.
You say my marriage is a sham, in spite of all the good times my wife and I have? Just because it doesn't have sex? Or is it because I have only friends-with-benefits sex with someone else? Or just with a stripper in the Champagne Room? Would it be a sham if the marriage was sexless and I had sex with only myself in the bathroom? Some women are upset about their husbands pleasuring themselves without them present. Just wondering where the "sham line" is you're drawing.
