"I'm more practically oriented than you, and I've seen a situation like mine work out with virtually no problems in my extended family (of French origin)."
And how did this "situation work out with virtually no problems"? You are saying that a man in a sexless marriage had affairs, but then worked out his sexless marriage into a fulfilling sexual marriage? If so, how did this man do this and are you going to follow his same formula?
As for my "agonizing" over cheating, I agonize over what I put my own family through due to my own choices. Rest assured, I don't agonize over your choices, but I am here to help people avoid the same mistakes I have made. You may think I am on some kind of moral mission, but I am not. I do not talk about God or morals or anything like that, if you'll review my posts. What I talk about is the TRUTH that cheating is not justified. Truth is truth regardless of morals or religion.
I'm sorry if I come across as too harsh, but the truth itself is harsh. It doesn't have grey areas. If you want to know the truth, you sit your wife and children down and ask THEM if it is better for their daddy to be a cheater or to divorce their mommy. If all of them agree it is better for you to cheat, then you have the truth you are hoping for. If even one of them says "no I'd rather you divorced her/me", then the truth is what I am saying...you are not justified in cheating no matter how many ways you try to talk about not accepting being celibate in your marriage.
I have never advocated that you remain celibate. I advocate that you tell your wife the truth and then deal with the consequences. One of those consequences may actually be that she will see the light and decide to join you in a sex life. Or she may not and then you'd have to divorce. But if you did do this, at least you would be making a justifyable decision.
You think divorce is worse that what you are currently deciding?
I hate to tell you this, but you are already divorced. Your marriage is a sham and doesn't exist. And one day, your wife and children are going to know this, and you'll end up legally divorced as well. On top of that, you will get the added pleasure of knowing you hurt everyone who loved you beyond repair.
