Moving on with my life!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey, I totally am not shocked that you are liking this. why wouldn't you?? the person you loved is giving you attention and telling you things that you wanted to hear.

BUT, you have to stay strong, you CANNOT weaken through this. This sitch is in a good spot right now, because it is your H that is weak and he is doing some seeking. You can possibly influence him in the right path, but you need to be consistent and strong.

I do believe your H wants his life back, or A life back, but like VD said, he's into that instant gratification.

When he says things like "I wish we were together" stuff, don't keep saying the same things. Don't use the blame game. He won't hear it, and he'll just end up feeling like you don't understand him and it's all your fault.

Instead, use questions like Michelle uses with us. (just an idea) Maybe say "What do you think you need to do to help get your life back?" Or, "If you were in my shoes, how do you think you would answer that question? what would you tell yourself?"
and whatever he says, just listen. don't tell him he's wrong or whatever. use this a a chance to get him thinking. He can't think when people are blaming him. So use this to your advantage.

But you just have to be strong, don't get swept into him, he's got to show you he's changed for at least a year before you should even think about restoring anything. And who knows if that will happen, but this could be a good start to help him figuring things out.

and him cake eating. yes, I agree he is doing that, but I do believe most the time people cake eat because they are scared. they don't want to lose the leash because if something happens and they are left to dry then they still have a hold of the other leash that they can reel in. is it right, of course not, but it's almost like a self-preserving action. Of course there are people out there that purposely use 2 women/2 men at the same time. But in your H's case, he is so messed up emotionally, I believe it is based out of fear. Of course, only God knows his heart though.

hang in there girl! oh, and I'm not so keen on him spending the night either. your gonna have to be careful on that one.