Serenity, I agree you can't change him. Is there a support group for spouses of veterans with PTSD? Can you check with the VA?
It doesn't excuse his behavior but it would explain a lot.

You have a lot on your plate. Manage your energy, stay hydrated and prayed up.

Cheers

M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.