It's all timing, you know? You went into "living ok without him" mode and that was based on reality. I don't think you protected him so much as he was not in a place where he would receive or co-parent in that way (at least that's the impression I get from you).
We do what we have to do. Eventually, some WASs become more receptive and aware of the impact on others around him/her...and then, that is a world of hurt for them and you're right, it is their cross to bear.
