Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thinker,
I've been reading your thread on and off so I maybe out of line here but, if you can be strong enough and comfort and support her thru this, you could "use" it as an opportunity for a break. Sometimes life gives us a push (hard one), if we get stuck on DB principles and motos we may miss our chance. Every case here is similar but so very differentat the same time. One of the worst things a man can do to his woman is "leave her alone" according to a great book I read (How to imporve your M without talking about it), it says it is actually THE worst thing you can do.

Apart from your M, it's the right thing to do when any person in our lives go thru this. I know I hold a HUGE resnetment when H failed to support me when my dad was fighting cancer last year, it made him look small in my eyes although I didnt request his support to trick him to reconcile with me. I thought it was the natural thing to turn to him after knowing my dad for so many years...

I know you need to protect yourself but maybe, just maybe, once more, you need to overcome yourself and do what feels to me as honorable.
Good Luck
K

Thanks Kalni, Coach,

That's the path I have been on for almost a week now. Just before Thanksgiving I went to her and said "I know things have been strained between us and we are talking about D, but for right now, I want to put that all aside and support you as your husband. I am not going to push for visiting a mediator. I'd like you to move back into the bedroom with me. I want to hold you and comfort you and be the husband I want to be. If you wan't less you'll have to tell me so. We can pick up the discussions about our future later."

And that's what I have been doing since.

The only strain has been when my "being the husband I want to be" is more than she want's or can accept. I overstep, she pulls back and we adjust.

I think we can continue this for a while. It's what we agreed to do today.