Pls help--confused and fearful

[newmama]

Day by Day,
I think I glossed over the reality of something big--you recently found out about his A. Do you still want to reconcile in light of this? I only ask because maybe for you, it has changed something.


you can take a break from doing anything to divorce bust as you weigh this decision. The GAL is for you, after all.

If you want to actively divorce bust, then choosing strategies is what it's all about.

NC is an ultimatum strategy with one final chance to reconcile. Otherwise, it would just be us filing for D, right?

Okay...taking a break means you don't employ a strategy yet it may look like the standard 180 list since you continue with your life, reply to emails with just basic info (no friendly closings etc.) and when you see him you are not angry or overly friendly, just neutral.

If you do want NC it means finding an IM so you have 0 direct contact whatsoever.

Another strategy is doing the opposite of like being happy when he expects you to be angry or sad. He will see that you are not devestated and will move on regardless. You become more appealing.

Letting your FB page show you are GAL shows same message--getting on with life, happy, he is not the end all be all.

NC (with the letter) sends the strong message that you are 100% serious about reconciling OR divorcing and it lets him experience life as it would be like divorced. But you have to be ready for the divorce if he chooses it.

NC moves us off of our fence as well. (That's why I am not ready for it yet but am trying other strategies first. I want to do a bang up job of NC when I do it)

In summary: choose to do nothing different as you decide what you want, choose NC, or choose to do the opposite of what he expects along with GAL. (GAL should be done regardless of anything)