Kalni, I was explaining, not excusing. I am the one who strokes their hair and reassures them when they cry and act out in various ways. It has been the hardest part of this situation. I also find it hard not to feel resentful in those moments. And then I have to focus focus focus on the task at hand. Don't compare myself to my H. Just do what needs to be done.
I know the helplessness and then to have H suggest that I am somehow exaggerating or manipulating to get his sorry a** back...aaargh.
Now, we are communicating pretty honestly and I am able to give him the information without a care of what he thinks my intentions are. But, ultimately, unless there is an accompanying action (eg."can you call S9? He's been crying), it is just me needing to share and that's usually anticlimactic.
I do NOT believe that the WAS believes "the kids are fine." The WAS knows he/she is not prepared to do the things that would seemingly rectify the situation so they say stupid sh*t like "the kids are fine."
As for "reassurance, nurturing, promises of love, time, discussion, answering their questions no matter how difficult they are...," yes, in a perfect world the WAS would be able to meet those needs but they usually don't and that leaves us to do it.
Sorry for the sort of hijack SP, although it is still on topic.
