Perfect. Now is the time to ask her to send him a "no-contact" letter, and to set up a full transparency plan with you. You'll know in short order how sincere she is then.
Way ahead of you Puppy, as said, she knows NC is a must or no-deal. And, as indicated by XW's message, OM is now not talking to her so he's getting the picture, hell she painted the picture right in front of him. Game's up buddy.
I'm sorry, but that seemed like a dodge of an answer, Dday, unless I'm not understanding you properly.
DID you ask your wife to send a no-contact letter to OM, and DID you insist upon a boundary of total transparency with you?
It's not enough to say "she knows where I stand" on these critical issues. A no-contact letter, the content of which should be approved by YOU, and which should be MAILED by you (so that nothing is added) is imperative so that OM understands that just because they're not in contact NOW, doesn't mean he can re-initiate it LATER. It also lets him know that SHE will not be initiating it later.
Transparency is her sharing her log-on/passwords for e-mail, Facebook, etc., and getting detailed billing on her cellphone (after changing #s, preferably), the bill now going to YOU. Exchanging daily schedules, leaving her phone out and unlocked, etc.
Have you discussed ANY of these specifics with her?
