So no more discussions with her, best handled by the Ls anyway. I don't think you need a $500 an hour attorney to be good, most I think are much less than that. The founding partners sometimes aren't even that great; in my fil's firm founding partners tend to work less hours and be less aggressive; the younger partners are the ones that tend to do the majority of work. I would ask around; there are so many people divorcing nowadays and find out who your friends would recommend...
Just stick to email. Before anything in any way controversial I would post an email here and get everyone's input, as my H is an L, so tried to be as careful as I could. Just waiting sometimes 1/2 a day or a day later that it took to do that was good, b/c it helped me to calm down and write a more polite, business-like email too.
