I dont know what to say. I suppose you could take the view of the fact that most people have had sexual relationships with others before getting married and that their marriage partner did not hold that against them. You could look at your relationship with your H as a brand new now and just consider the sexual relationship with the OW as one that was before your new marriage.
Do you have scheduled goals and objectives? There comes a point where your obsessing over his past indescretions needs to end either in your mind or by you quitting on trying to piece your marriage back to a point where both of you are content.
