feel like giving up - talk to me!

[Gnosis]

G - my hero..thank you for the time you are taking to help me.

You're welcome.

Do you know how hard it is to tell a woman she can't "talk" to her husband?

Ahem... well... nope... I'm not a woman

But I can relate... because if there's one thing women like to do (besides shopping) it's talk for hours on end. So not being able to talk is probably as painful as kicking a guy in the nuts.

hardest thing to think about. It's so sad because that's how women solve their problems.

I KNOW.

I guess I have to learn a new way but you know...what about him?

There's a biblical quote that goes something along the lines of: first remove the splinter in your own eye before you remove the plank in your brother's eye. Let's take care of you first OK? After that I'll share some suggestions on how to help him.

that is a MAJOR change on my part and what we will he do?

Nothing... at first... because he won't believe it. As he feels the pressure easing off him he'll start coming back - this isn't an overnight fix.

I'm supposed to walk on eggshells when something is bothering me?

If it's about him, sorry, yes. This is why GAL is so important. You do it for you. This keeps your mind distracted.

it just sounds crazy. I am no crazy chase the husband with the broom kinda wife either..

ROFL. I didn't think you were. Thanks for the crazy smile you just put on my face.

I always say in a nice tone - I'd like to talk about somethings or can we talk about some things?

Honey, for your own good... STOP TALKING. For now. Give the guy a breather. Trust me, he knows. This has built up over the years to the point where at the mere sound of your voice gets him agitated and raises his barriers.

I don't even know how to respond G - I'm really confused at this point - feeling defeated and ready to give up.

Well, I'm not giving up on you. You can do this. It's going to be new for you... and for him. Give him some time

This is what I have to look forward to? a silent life with my H - can't talk about anything cuz he can't take it?

No, you can look forward to building a bridge in the gap that your marriage is currently in - one brick at a time. Right now he can't take it because in the past you have flooded him with TMI. His brain has been programmed to expect pressure and a confusing list of demands from you the minute you open your mouth.

Keep posting here what you want to talk to him about - BEFORE doing it... people here will help you. Just keep coming here first.

oh gawd help me.

Did it ever cross your mind that maybe He is? What do you think you're doing on this board? Whining? IF you were... I wouldn't respond to you.

I am going back and forth so I'll stop now. I need to collect my thoughts

Good because you need a plan. I'm prepared to help. Others are too.

I wish I had the guts to walk out!

I'm glad you don't. There... I said it.