1) Pick a spot outside a fancy restaurant for the drop off point. 2) Get yourself dressed REAL smart, sassy and elegant to make it look like you're going to the restaurant. 3) Collect the kid from him there. Say, "Thanks, I can take it from here." or something similar. Cut all other communication with, "I don't have time for this right now. You can leave." and you wait for him to leave. 4) Leave or not: take the kid and go into the restaurant. Ask to use the bathroom, then for a glass of water or something. Try stay there for as long as possible and then leave.
This will BLOW his mind because he won't know if you're having lunch with someone or if you've just had lunch...
NO. NO. NO...
This is NOT how it is done. If you are trying to make your husband curious you don't do it by being obvious. This is too obvious and could backfire. When a WS (which is how you want to act) is acting distant they don't tell you to bring the kids to the place they are meeting the OW. They do things like change plans and tell you they can't pick them up or some other excuse. They do NOT take the risk to meet you where the OP is likely to be. Please don't get so caught up in this that you start doing things that will blow the whole concept.
Don't go overboard or this will backfire. To make a man curious you have to be more subtle. You have to make him WONDER where you are going. WONDER why you are dressed up and ready to go out when he drops off the kids or when you pick them up from HIS place.
If you make this too obvious it will backfire. He has to think you are HIDING something. Keep your cards close to the vest. You don't show your cards in a poker game.
YES. Create mystery. Don't try to FORCE it though. Just be mysterious as the opportunity arrives. Make plans to be busy. All these things are good. You have to follow through on this new effort you are doing. You handled things great today. Keep it up and get even better at it.
K so went to drop off S3 and stayed a bit to visit with FIL and SIL. H stared at me the whole time! Then when I was leaving I asked if I could leave my truck in the driveway. And it began. He got so upset. Why you leaving your truck here? Where are you going? Who are you going with? I said to the mall. That was it. With my sis and she asks of if H knows this guy that she knows. So I text him and ask. He says no but should I? I said no just wondering. He then asked how that came up. I said in conversation just to spark his curiosity. He says oh ok. Nothing for a few minutes then I get another one asking if everything is okay. Um since when do you care and why are you asking? Told him Im fine. He takes it offensively. I apologize if I sounde rude and re stated that everything is good and now he hasnt responded. Now what?
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
K so went to drop off S3 and stayed a bit to visit with FIL and SIL. H stared at me the whole time! Then when I was leaving I asked if I could leave my truck in the driveway. And it began. He got so upset. Why you leaving your truck here? Where are you going? Who are you going with? I said to the mall. That was it. With my sis and she asks of if H knows this guy that she knows. So I text him and ask.
Why?
Why strike up conversation for no reason? Why are you asking him for favors?
When he gets upset, you should say "if this bothers you, I can park somewhere else" and walk away.
Originally Posted By: britt54
He says no but should I? I said no just wondering. He then asked how that came up. I said in conversation just to spark his curiosity. He says oh ok. Nothing for a few minutes then I get another one asking if everything is okay. Um since when do you care and why are you asking?
Well, you said you were trying to spark his curiosity, so why are you surprised that he continues the conversation? You got what you wanted...
Originally Posted By: britt54
Told him Im fine. He takes it offensively. I apologize if I sounde rude and re stated that everything is good and now he hasnt responded. Now what?
Stop talking to him for no reason? You set this whole thing in motion when you initiated contact.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
K so went to drop off S3 and stayed a bit to visit with FIL and SIL. H stared at me the whole time! Then when I was leaving I asked if I could leave my truck in the driveway. And it began. He got so upset. Why you leaving your truck here? Where are you going? Who are you going with? I said to the mall. That was it. With my sis and she asks of if H knows this guy that she knows. So I text him and ask. He says no but should I? I said no just wondering. He then asked how that came up. I said in conversation just to spark his curiosity. He says oh ok. Nothing for a few minutes then I get another one asking if everything is okay. Um since when do you care and why are you asking? Told him Im fine. He takes it offensively. I apologize if I sounde rude and re stated that everything is good and now he hasnt responded. Now what?
tell us more - i have a feeling cheater's mentality (in your husband) is going to become obvious soon.
Girl you need to listen to these guys. Create mystery and make him wonder. If my H was in the country I would be following their advice to a "T". You need to pull back a bit. Less is more hon. Make him come after you! Dont worry about how he feels. THAT IS HIS PROBLEM! You do your thing.
You have several very wise people here giving you great advise.
ACT AS IF : You have one or more men pursuing you. Completely ignore H. Push him away. File for D. IE WAKE HIM UP TO THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS CURRENT CHOICES!!!!!!
Please have faith in OUR words. We know what works and what does not work.
O ya, I have something for you:
Two dozen roses. The most beautiful you have seen. Start asking around to see if you can figure out who sent them to you!
HUGS
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Two dozen roses. The most beautiful you have seen. Start asking around to see if you can figure out who sent them to you!
I swear, Britt either has the best luck in timing when it comes to secret admirers, or she has a friend who won't fess up.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement