Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

How are you doing BIM?

I'm good, thanks. Thanks for asking.

Just took a break over the weekend from my computer. Didn't do a whole lot, did a lot of cleaning though. Just got hit with the cleaning bug, baseboards, doorknobs, etc. Washed everything in sight that wasn't nailed down.

Took your advice and just told H I got off work on Friday and asked when we're going to be going to CT. "I haven't decided if we're going late Wed night or early Thursday morning. What do you think?" bim: "let's check traffic patterns around NYC and decide"

So, looks like we are heading to CT.

Otherwise, we have been mostly quiet. Not rude or avoiding each other, but not much to say, as usual. I prefer not saying much to being dragged into ridiculous conversations where somehow, I am always the one to blame. I am doing so much better at not being sucked into that.

Have been listening to some meditation/spiritual CDs in the car and have been enjoying that. S6 had a meltdown on the way home tonight because he didn't want to hear it. What fun!

I need to check out how everybody is doing on here.

[Gardener]

Took your advice and just told H I got off work on Friday and asked when we're going to be going to CT. "I haven't decided if we're going late Wed night or early Thursday morning. What do you think?" bim: "let's check traffic patterns around NYC and decide"

Good for you for coming right out with it and getting it settled!

So, looks like we are heading to CT.

There are some absolutely great people in Conn.

And be careful with those meditation CDs while driving. I have a collection of Dr. Jeffrey Thompson's Meditation CDs and I wouldn't drive with those playing!

Glad things are relatively quiet for you right now.

[brownidmom]

So, looks like we are heading to CT.

There are some absolutely great people in Conn. "Why, yes. I do believe I know a very nice landscaper that I've never even met before. " bim says in her best southern accent...from the south, yes, a southern accent remains, haven't lived there in years, though.

And be careful with those meditation CDs while driving. I have a collection of Dr. Jeffrey Thompson's Meditation CDs and I wouldn't drive with those playing!

Nah, nothing like that. Just listening to Excuses Begone by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Pretty decent, gonna read his book next.

Glad things are relatively quiet for you right now.

Thanks, me too.

[Gardener]

Bim,

Okay re: your trip, my guess is that both the GW and the TZ are going to be about the same. When you get 20 miles or so from GW, you can check NewsRadio 880 AM for traffic and compare.

Now since you love The Merritt so much, I can take you from GW Bridge to The Merritt via similar parkways only and, of course with no trucks and Interstate madness and such..

- Toward end of GW, stay to your right. For Henry Hudson Parkway NORTH (the curves and forks get temporarily confusing here, so Go slow on the curve and just make sure you're on The Henry Hudson Pkwy (Rt. 9 NORTH)

- Henry Hudson Pkwy's name changes to The Saw Mill River Pkwy as it crosses over NYC line into Westchester County. Same Road, just name change so don't get confused.

-Get off Saw Mill Pkwy at the Cross County Parkway exit (as soon as you see the sign for it, get in the right lane: it comes up fast)

-Cross County Pkwy takes you to Hutchinson River Parkway (North is on the Left) which you probably know and have taken since it ends at the NY/CT Boarder where begins the famed Merritt Parkway (now a National Historic Landmark).

To enjoy your trip even more, check out the Merritt's overpasses. Every one is completely different designed by different architects.

Have a safe trip.

[brownidmom]

Bim,

Okay re: your trip, my guess is that both the GW and the TZ are going to be about the same. When you get 20 miles or so from GW, you can check NewsRadio 880 AM for traffic and compare.

Now since you love The Merritt so much, I can take you from GW Bridge to The Merritt via similar parkways only and, of course with no trucks and Interstate madness and such..

- Toward end of GW, stay to your right. For Henry Hudson Parkway NORTH (the curves and forks get temporarily confusing here, so Go slow on the curve and just make sure you're on The Henry Hudson Pkwy (Rt. 9 NORTH)

- Henry Hudson Pkwy's name changes to The Saw Mill River Pkwy as it crosses over NYC line into Westchester County. Same Road, just name change so don't get confused.

-Get off Saw Mill Pkwy at the Cross County Parkway exit (as soon as you see the sign for it, get in the right lane: it comes up fast)

-Cross County Pkwy takes you to Hutchinson River Parkway (North is on the Left) which you probably know and have taken since it ends at the NY/CT Boarder where begins the famed Merritt Parkway (now a National Historic Landmark).

To enjoy your trip even more, check out the Merritt's overpasses. Every one is completely different designed by different architects.

Have a safe trip.

Thanks, G. This is actually the exact way we go. My big concern is always the GW bridge. I was trying to figure a quicker way around NYC, and hoping to still get on the Merritt.

Thanks for mentioning the overpasses. I have always noticed them because quite a few have flags weaved into the fences, but haven't noticed that they are all different. Will keep my eye out!

Thanks again!!

[Gardener]

bim,

Thanks, G. This is actually the exact way we go.

After all that?

I was trying to figure a quicker way around NYC, and hoping to still get on the Merritt.

Ain't no such animal.

[Lll54]

Say Hi to NYC for me. I love that city. Took my first trip there with H in April and fell in love. Have a good time in CT!

[brownidmom]

Hiya, everyone.

I am back from CT. Mostly a good trip.

Gardener, decided to let the boys get some sleep on Wed. night and avoid traffic. Woke them up at around 1:00 am Thursday morning just to get them into the car and cover them with blankets and then head out. It was one of the quickest trips to CT ever. No traffic whatsoever. Got there around 4:30 am and it did throw our sleep off a bit. S6 was whiny and had a fever when he woke up at 8:30 am. Thank God CVS is 24-hours, even on Thanksgiving. He has asthma, so I was a bit wary of him all day. At SIL, he lay on the couch watching movies while all the other kids were jumping around like chickens with their heads cut off. The food was excellent, but S6 didn't eat anything and wanted to go back to the hotel early, so I took him and left S9 with H since he didn't want to leave. S6 had a very rough night of sleep. He was whining all night and wrapped himself around my neck all night. He was burning hot and had me doing the same from his body heat.

H had his own agenda. His brother and the college-age cousins in for the holiday got into video games and made an entire weekend of it, going from one house to the other playing football, Madden '10.

Then onto the next house on Friday, leaving us at MIL house all day. We (myself, MIL, and boys went to SIL in the evening and H was at his cousin's house, came in after we were all asleep, well, not me. Up early on Saturday to be at nephew's bball game at 8:30 am. He did great, scored 32 of the 43 points scored by his team. He is 11 yo and about 5'7" already. His father is 6'6". But height isn't everything and the kid can shoot! S6 adores him and had a great time watching him play ball.

We went out to lunch and S6 ate more in one meal than he had eaten the rest of the trip thus far. H left us at BIL's house and went off to play XBOX360. Back to the twins' basketball game at 6:30 pm. They won, too! Then some time with MIL, SIL, and BIL before heading out last night around 10:15 pm. Boys slept the whole trip, got in around 1:30 am.

BTW, I didn't take issue with H disappearing all weekend because 1) H doesn't see most of the cousins very often, so he needed to catch up. 2) I didn't mind being away from him, love his family.

S6 came and got in bed around 9:30 am, (yep, told you our sleep was off) and slept until almost 1:00 p.m. He was up for about 2 hours and then back to sleep until we woke him around 5:30 to get up to eat something and shower for bed. He didn't eat much and is sitting next to me right now getting a nebulizer treatment. No fever and nurse at school can give him treatments, but still not sure he will get to go to school tomorrow. He has never slept so much before and I think I let him overdo it yesterday by taking him to 2 bball games, even though he sat next to me the whole time. His body obviously paid the price, thus all the sleep he needed today.

On the trip home last night, since boys were sleeping, I initiated a conversation with H, not about R to begin with...Earlier in the evening, right after bball game, MIL asked H if we were going to leave right then. Yes, I knew traffic could be a challenge but I was also very tired and didn't want the boys to be up late again. He looked at his watch, said "No, traffic will be too bad, will wait a while." I was annoyed and added my 2cents worth. "I am tired and am ready to go." H, looking straight in his mother's face while I am standing next to him, says, "You can go if you want to, I'm staying." Yes, I took issue with this. Number 1- it is not your decision when we leave, it should be our decision. Honestly, we had driven my car there and the thought did cross my mind to take the boys and leave, but I thought better of it because it would have been me acting purely out of anger. Number 2) I feel embarrassed and disrespected when you speak to me like that in front of other people. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking to me.

H tried to bring up the fact that none of his decisions have anything to do with me anymore and that he no longer takes the time to factor me in. I simply said that I am aware of his selfishness and have seen many examples of it over the last few years, but that I also know that one day, sooner or later, he would know that his beliefs about me are bull-oney. The kids were asleep, but in the car, and I won't use foul language in front of them no matter how I feel. I then used the word stupid regarding his point-of-view about me and my intentions. H tried to get in the last word somehow, always does, so do I. I didn't raise my voice and I wasn't sarcastic, but very matter-of-fact. End of convo- BIM: " I believe and know that you will figure it all out, whether near or from far away isn't the issue anymore. But you will know that you are wrong about many of your beliefs about me and the actions you have taken being a result of your issues, not mine."

And then...I let it go. Not another word uttered by me the remainder of the car ride. A 180 for me, yes. But not a 180 being used as a DB technique. A 180 for me because I have a tendency to get emotional during these conversations and let myself get very upset. I. AM. DONE. WITH. THAT.

Boys are in bed now, already sleeping. Hoping S6 sleeps the night through and feels better tomorrow. If not, one of us will be staying home with him tomorrow.

Gardener, I believe I was having my discussion around your exit last night.

Brit, couldn't really see NYC in the dark, but I love it too. I go up a few times a year for a show and shopping with a friend of mine. A great day trip. We always pick a great restaurant and have a great dinner, too.

Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Too much to do tonight to check in on everyone's sitch, but will try to tomorrow. Goodnight.

[Gardener]

bim,

Hiya, everyone.I am back from CT. Mostly a good trip.

Except for S6 and parts of that let's-go-home scenario and subsequent discussion, it sounds like it was great!

Number 1- it is not your decision when we leave, it should be our decision. Honestly, we had driven my car there and the thought did cross my mind to take the boys and leave, but I thought better of it because it would have been me acting purely out of anger.(good for you.) Number 2) I feel embarrassed and disrespected when you speak to me like that in front of other people. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking to me.

Nicely done, bim.

H tried to bring up the fact that none of his decisions have anything to do with me anymore and that he no longer takes the time to factor me in.

Ouch! Heartless.

I simply said that I am aware of his selfishness and have seen many examples of it over the last few years, but that I also know that one day, sooner or later, he would know that his beliefs about me are bull-oney... End of convo- BIM: " I believe and know that you will figure it all out, whether near or from far away isn't the issue anymore. But you will know that you are wrong about many of your beliefs about me and the actions you have taken being a result of your issues, not mine" .And then...I let it go... I have a tendency to get emotional during these conversations and let myself get very upset. I. AM. DONE. WITH. THAT.

BraVO, bim. Standing O for you!

Gardener, I believe I was having my discussion around your exit last night.

Maybe I was close enough to be your "Gardening Angel" (ouch)

Hey, bim: where are you from, anyway (if'n I may inquire)?

[brownidmom]

bim,

Hiya, everyone.I am back from CT. Mostly a good trip.

Except for S6 and parts of that let's-go-home scenario and subsequent discussion, it sounds like it was great!

G, you crack me up! Yes, it does sound the opposite of what I said. It is always good to see my MIL though, and my boys are so happy when they get to see their cousins. We have no family in our area.

H tried to bring up the fact that none of his decisions have anything to do with me anymore and that he no longer takes the time to factor me in.

Ouch! Heartless.

Yep. He had even said that he is going to buy a house with a bigger yard for the boys and that whether or not I am there, the decision to buy the house and picking it out and buying it will not involve me. This was after I pointed out that he mishandled the situation back in May when he dropped the bomb "I am not going to put my name on another piece of paper to buy another house with you" on Mother's Day before we were heading out the door to look at it one last time before making an offer. Uh, yeah, passive aggressive, you should have just told me that you didn't want to go anywhere else with me instead of letting me look for the perfect house for almost a full year.

No, I will not move into a house with you when my name is not on the deed so you can just tell me to leave whenever you want. I didn't say this last part, just thought it. It would have become too emotional for me if I started down that path so I just let it go until it becomes a reality.

I simply said that I am aware of his selfishness and have seen many examples of it over the last few years, but that I also know that one day, sooner or later, he would know that his beliefs about me are bull-oney... End of convo- BIM: " I believe and know that you will figure it all out, whether near or from far away isn't the issue anymore. But you will know that you are wrong about many of your beliefs about me and the actions you have taken being a result of your issues, not mine" .And then...I let it go... I have a tendency to get emotional during these conversations and let myself get very upset. I. AM. DONE. WITH. THAT.

BraVO, bim. Standing O for you!

The thing I have realized is that most of what he says, even though he refuses to admit it, is said to upset me, to get a reaction from me. I know because once he is done with anything, there is no more discussion from him at all. He still tries to push my buttons, so I know he still hasn't let go. Yet and still, I am slowly letting go of the outcome and whether or not he still cares. I know you can love someone and still choose to be without them.

Hey, bim: where are you from, anyway (if'n I may inquire)?

We live right outside of Philly.

S6 is still sick, so I am home with him today.