Quit worrying about what she says, does, thinks, or feels right now. You don't control her. She would feel much better if you did everything her way.
Get some legal advice. Plan for this they way you would a mission. What's the objective? Get the experts to brief their portion, go over emergency procedures and prepare yourself.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
