Funny you should mention the melting down at holiday times... It's not a rare occurrence! Yes, his company causes him additional stress during holidays, because of days off/cramming workload into less days, etc... And, when he does that, that means, WAY less sleep, and he gets very little to begin with.
Family/FOO triggers? I have a hard time understanding this. I'm an only child from parents who are still happily married. I was spoiled, but not a brat. H comes from a family of seven children. He's the youngest. SHOCK! He is fairly close w/both of his sisters (oldest siblings), and is conversationally close w/the brother closest in age. One brother died (not sure it wasn't suicide, but I could be way off..), and he hasn't spoken to the other brothers in years! In fact, I've never met them, and we've been married almost 14 years. So, holiday times for his family have gone from a small gathering at his older sisters (she has breast cancer now, and is in CO getting treatment) w/her family, his next oldest brother's family, and ours, to... almost nil. We invite them every year for Thanksgiving, and have a combo celebration, and it's way fun when they can come. But, the next oldest brother's family has kids aging, and, get this, the brother and his wife don't speak! So, they end up canceling last minute. It's sad.
I've thought of something that may help w/this over the X-Mas/New Years weeks. I thought of asking him if he'd like to take the kids to CO to visit his sister (who is in breast cancer treatment), and seeing if his other sister and H will meet us there. I am conversational close w/both of them, as they are like my H and the brother I know... not exactly open and intimate w/anyone. But, they like me, and we all enjoy each other. Ideas on how to broach this w/out looking like I'm trying to fix things?
H always hugs and kisses me goodbye. Sometimes a bit more robotic than others. Most times fairly warm and genuine. Touching him? Hmmmmmm... not so much. It's sad. I almost feel like it might not be welcome. Could be my mind spinning. I'll try it, though. I'd be interested in ideas.
THANKS for coming by!
I'm going for a power walk now! (Even though I still feel like poop!!!)
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
SHOCK! He is fairly close w/both of his sisters (oldest siblings), and is conversationally close w/the brother closest in age. One brother died (not sure it wasn't suicide, but I could be way off..), and he hasn't spoken to the other brothers in years! In fact, I've never met them, and we've been married almost 14 years. So, holiday times for his family have gone from a small gathering at his older sisters (she has breast cancer now, and is in CO getting treatment) w/her family, his next oldest brother's family, and ours, to... almost nil. We invite them every year for Thanksgiving, and have a combo celebration, and it's way fun when they can come. But, the next oldest brother's family has kids aging, and, get this, the brother and his wife don't speak! So, they end up canceling last minute. It's sad. 
