Long story short, H dropped the first bomb in Sept, then I found out he was having affair just about 1 month ago when he then finally said we are done. He loves her and was never in love with me. Classic MLC. It's been 1 month since he said he wanted a divorce, yet he's only slept out of the house 1 night, the night before Thanksgiving. We have a 4 year old. He is treating me like garbage, as if I did something wrong. I know that's his way of keeping his distance so it's easier for him, but I can't take it anymore. I decided this weekend to finally set some boundaries. However, we can't seem to get any alone time, and after daughter goes to bed is too late to start something like this. So I emailed him lastnight to say we would get a babysitter and go out either Monday or Tues to talk, which would he prefer. He wrote back and said tonight. I just need some support to get through this conversation. My plan is to start by telling him he needs to be open and honest and talk to me and get rid of this tough guy shell for the conversation. Then I want to ask him to tell me exactly what went wrong with us, since he hasn't told me yet. Then, I want to tell him that all I've been trying to do over the last month is be his friend so we can work on whatever issues we have and "try" to make this as amicable as possible. However, he's been nothing but nasty to me. I even said his haircut looked nice and he said "Why are you commenting on my hair?" So basically I want to tell him if he can't be amicable to me, I don't want him near me, and he can go stay with his brother full time. That is going to be the hardest for me, but I know I have to be strong and do it. A month ago, he said his plan was to stay at his brothers a couple nights a week after daughter went to bed. Like I said, he's only stayed there once so far, so I'm not sure how serious he is about leaving. Also, I believe he is still having the affair, and according to the EZ pass record, he went somewhere else besides his brothers on Thanksgiving, which he denies. (he doesn't know I checked the EZ pass). So I'm going to also confront him with the affair again. I know I can't stop him, but what kind of boundaries can I set around that if he considers our marriage already over and thinks he's in love with her? He never calls or texts her in my presence, he does it from his work email and work phone so I can't see. I'm following DR and for example, last night when he was making dinner with daughter, I walked out of the house without saying anything. All I did was go across the street to my parents, but he questioned me like 3 times, and I just kept saying I went out. So it seems the GAL and 180s are working, just not sure exactly how much. Sorry I rambled, I just needed to get it out and ask for your support with tonight's conversation. Any tips on what to say or not to say?
