"So I "lead" last night that he came over to stay because it was my D's nameday. He pulled away and I asked him "so, you are not sexually attracted to me at all?"."
Why does him pulling away mean he is "not attracted"? Why does your mind jump to that thought? "See.. I did something.. and yet again he let me down" (That was in my best Kalni voice)
What if you would have said.. "Ok.. just rub my feet" "Feet" in that sentence could be many words.
"I know how a man responds and is when he wnats a woman sexually. He is no where close to that."
Slow down, and understand why. This is not a race.
"I got angry because he missed his appointment at the doctor on the 20th and he had to reschedule for the 7th. That doesnt sound like he was looking forward to spend "time" with me. He doesnt care."
Maybe.. he had to shake hands with someone important. Just a thought.
"This IS a dealbreaker for me. Because it affects me deeply."
OK.. I believe you.
"He spent years before the bomb telling me he was just not that interested in sex"
You need to figure out if this is "different".
"I was giving but not to him at that time."
You miss the point. The thought's you had.. the way you acted.. the way you said things.. during that time is what evoked a response. You became "attractive" because you had someone "fueling" you. That is what you need to "blend" in.
"We snuggled and slept together."
Everything before that was good.. and that is progress.
As a suggestion.. since you like to write things down. A good reporter need a calendar. Maybe "it" looks like the one I have seen. The trick would be to write things in random places as a reminder. (I looked high and low in mine and found nothing!) Be creative.. maybe write on a page (pick one) "I thought about you today.. are you thinking of me?" Spend some time with this.. and come up with lots of tricky ideas. Never tell him what to do.. but make suggestions. Draw some pictures.. I heard you could do that. If you are really crafty you could do one on the computer... and really personalize it. Last I checked.. there is a new year coming.
As a side note I was just messing with you KerryK.
I am still married. Not to the same person I was married too though. Truth be told I am still not sure I like her as much as I used to. This year has been.. well just "crazy" and has flown by. My job has been "cut back" but I still have a job. She is working full time now and likes her job. We have a lot of things that were "over our heads" from having been "bombed". Money, communication, sex drive, etc. One of the big things that she has always said is that "I hate you putting our story out there." To me that means that she does not want me to do that. Hence my lack of a thread. Well.. my "story" lies in the postings I make here. While they are not in my own thread they are still easily read. I walk thru many of the same things that the people I post to do. I have overcome some of those things just by simple typing out why the "poster" is failing. My 2nd Grandfather passed away about 3 weeks ago. My Grandmother (his wife) has Dementia/Alzheimer's. So basically I lost that entire "family". In the end of all that.. some great things happened. Some of the things that were "over" our heads were removed. A big part of that is that my Grandfather was "well off". Some of the conversations that me and my wife had about the "fate" of my Grandmother (she can't care for herself) opened up some of the communication. I am a "big picture" kinda guy.. my wife is "emotional". So.. with that said.. I am living my life with my wife. And at the end of the day.. she chose to be here. I am 100% ok with that.. no matter what.. tomorrow brings.
I was at the hospital.. and GP was on medication to keep him alive. My GM and me went into the room (she had no idea who we were there to see). When she saw him she went right over too him and covered him up or "tucked" him in. She sat down next to him and was rubbing his hand. She looked at him and said do you know who I am? He said.. "Of course, you are my "babe".. you are my wife. She said.. "Yes.. I am.. and I always have been." The irony in that is that my GP was a "cheating bastard". So the moral of that story is..
Does not matter what has happened.
What matter's is who you choose to be.
I have rambled on long enough. Please respect that this is Kalni's thread. Even though I know she would not mind.
Now..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
