i have been where you are and have wanted to call my husband so very badly...when i gave into it and called, the outcome was never what i had hoped for. and then i would feel much worse.....it's something you know you shouldn't do which is proven when you then do it anyway. i am sorry you are in this position. it is heartbreaking.....but working on yourself and building a life with your daughter are key....it sounds like he is the one who is going to be miserable, but give him the time and the space to realize that
