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Joined: Oct 2009
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grr Offline
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i have been where you are and have wanted to call my husband so very badly...when i gave into it and called, the outcome was never what i had hoped for. and then i would feel much worse.....it's something you know you shouldn't do which is proven when you then do it anyway.
i am sorry you are in this position. it is heartbreaking.....but working on yourself and building a life with your daughter are key....it sounds like he is the one who is going to be miserable, but give him the time and the space to realize that


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KLC, what about goals for you? Personal goals whose pursuit and accomplishment will help your positive mental attitude?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
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KLC Offline OP
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I am trying to figure out who I am. I started IC today. I need to figure out who I am besides a wife and a mother. My sole purpose in life was to make him happy and since that didn't work out the best for me I need to find me.


M - 41
WAH - 41
D - 20
M-21 years
T-24 years
Separated - Nov 6, 2009
Joined: Jun 2008
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Learn to ride a motorcycle! Join the fire dept!

I think that its pretty common for women to find that thats been their mission in life- wife and mother- and then one day, that changes, and you have to change with it.

How was your counselling session? Do you get along with your counselor?


I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 27
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KLC Offline OP
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Yea I liked her a lot. She is down to earth and REAL. The greatest visual she gave me today was this. You know when two people get married they light a unity candle together . . . then they blow out the two single individual ones. The two are now one and long longer their own individual selves. When you are in love and all is right that seems like the perfect thing to do. But when you have been left by someone who wants to be on their own you are standing there holding a lifeless candle.

I have to find a way to light my own candle and keep it burning for me.


M - 41
WAH - 41
D - 20
M-21 years
T-24 years
Separated - Nov 6, 2009
Joined: May 2006
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I have to find a way to light my own candle and keep it burning for me.[/quote]

we all need to do this!


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 386
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I know how you feel. My H is my best friend. When something happens in my life I want to tell him about it. I can't do that anymore. It is a huge adjustment, but it is necessary.


Me: 33 / H: 36
M: 10y / T: 14y
3 kids
BD: 2/22/14
Live in separation 3/8/14
H consult lawyer, says filing asap 4/24/14
H moved out 4/25/14
2nd time around. 1st separation 4y ago lasted a month
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