WAW on suicide watch, what now???

[MHL]

I know God is good all the time and all the time God is good to me, my family, and yes even my W. I am hopeful for us but try not to get emotionally involved in that hope. I think that is the hardest part of doing "what is right" for getting the M back on track,

I feel the anger helps me ignore her texts and stay dark but I know it will ultimately gnaw at me and eat me up.

I feel the anger, and I don't feel it all the time, helps me do what I need to in order to win her back. I am reluctant to let it go until I start to see some responses from her. I don't want to use anger as a tool but for now I will, I am praying about it daily.
My wife was having SIL to text me to have S9 call her back in order to talk with his mother. I think all of that is silly so last night I ignored the text from SIL. I was surprised that I did not get a text or call from W to talk to S9. There was no call or text tonight from my W nor SIL and S9 did not ask to call so I just let it go. He was happy when I tucked him in and said prayers so I did not want to remind him that Mom is not here. While this does not make me mad, it does surprise me that she would not attempt to call him. If I think about it she is probably terrified at the thought of having to speak to me at all, given all that she has done and lied about. She must be terribly conflicted. I stop there b/c I trying to guess what she is thinking is not part of the plan.

Still watching and waiting and GALing. I have to remind myself that this is going to take a while.