That issue with my good friends really bothered me. And I have had to help my Mom with a friend on her street who's daughter was sexually assulted by her father. She is a little sweetie. Who always said that she would be my WAS's and my daughter because she felt we needed children. I really missed my WAS on this issue. I have no one to talk to about this and I have bottled stuff up for two weeks.
My house mate came back from his trip to Europe ( possibly to see his EA ) But he was smart to keep the boundary and not talk about it. He was back one day and then went south to work on his marriage with his wife. Hopefully I got thru to him. Time will tell. Being human it just reminds me of my current marriage and its situation.
I have also became emotionaly attached to the girl I went out with back in early Oct. So I have kept my encounters with her apart. Like seeing each other every few weeks and only call a day before we meet up again. Mind you I have used these feelings to help myself heal from the effects of the affair and to build my self esteem. I am not going to enact on these feelings. As I enjoy our friendship. Its the oldest friendship I have outside of my immediate family. Sometimes when were together I think that she is struggling with the same feelings. But this is not the time for such things. As it is a time of healing. But I will admit that it felt good to know that I could be attracted to someone physically. I was very worried that I would not be able to get over the betrayal at that level. As for what level of physical I could reach now. Hugs and the random contacts of hands touching and other rubbing that happens when doing stuff all the time. I find I miss that contact the most. As WAS and I always were touching each other that way through out our marriage up to July. The hand rubbing on the arm. That was always enjoyable. We always smiled when that happened.
I know I sound like I am in a bad spot right now but I am not. Reflection can be worth while. I am not cycling. Actually I do not know what exactly I am feeling tonight. But I just needed to reach out. And right now this place is where I feel safe. Guess I am dealing with some waves.
