A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Thanks, everyone.

Gardener - one of the reasons I positively adore this site is that when there's something we have a problem with and our spouse gives us some line of you-know-what about why we're wrong or why that should be a problem, I think we all begin to doubt ourselves. "Gosh, maybe *I'm* the nutjob? Maybe s/he's right and I'm just over-reacting, etc. and so forth ad nauseam."

Then we come here and we get the most amazing, kick-arse validation ever.

Thank you. All of you.

I've been feeling deflated for most of the day, and of course I feel deflated. I was invalidated during much of that conversation! He defended his mother, he defended XBFF, he defended himself. There wasn't a single apology, a single "I'm sorry for the pain", and the only "I know how that must have felt" had to be pulled out of him at great length.

Sigh.

Word to the wise - the battle is NOT over once you hit the reconciliation milestone! There is still work to be done. It will be hard, and it won't be pleasant. You can't muck out a stall w/o getting sh&t on you. Don't let that put you off - but be ready for it with open eyes and realistic expectations.

edit: oh - and FWIW, the MC took his side on the alcohol, meaning that she accepted his version of how much/how often he was drinking. Ergo, I was the nutjob.