Help I want to call him

[KLC]

I have been separated from my WAH for 3 weeks. I just got home from my parents house from the Thanksgiving weekend and all I want to do is talk to him. How do you get over these moments? Watching TV or reading doesn't help just makes me miss him more.

[bluerain]

Hi KLC,

Realize that no matter how much you try to pull him to you, all it will do is make him want to escape. Write him a letter, telling him everything that you did this weekend, the funny things, the sad things, how your sisters kid was a pain, how you ate too many cranberries and the wine was awful, all of it, get everything out, whatever happened tell him all of it. And then dont send it.

Burn it, tear it up, get rid of it. I wrote A LOT of letters early in my sitch, and it helped. Keep coming on here and journaling.

[KLC]

Thanks Bluerain.

My head knows the answer but my heart always gets in the way. We were married for 21 years and together 24 years. He is my best friend and I want to talk to that person not my H. We have a 20 year old daughter who keeps me going but I can't vent to her about him. I want my friend and it hurts so bad not to have him.

I will write the letter and not send it tho - thanks =)

[wolverine1997]

I know exactly how you feel. Last week in a moment of weakness I told my wife that I miss talking to her. She just smirked and said, "yeah right" and kept doing what she was doing. I felt so stupid afterwards. Don't call him. Go to the store or rent a movie. Exercise or wash clothes. Do something physical. Anything but calling him.

[KLC]

Thanks wolverine. It is a horrible out of control feeling. I thought through all of the things that I would say that would "convince" him to come back. I think I needed just to scream on hear to let it out. I have a counseling session in the morning. I am hoping she can help me work through the roller coaster emotions.

[wolverine1997]

How is counseling working out? I've been thinking about doing the same myself but have been a little reluctant.

[KLC]

We went together for the first session last Tuesday. Needless to say I completely fell apart and cried most of the time. The counselor decided that we needed to have separate sessions and has set him up with someone else. He is dealing with some depression issues that he hasn't owned up to yet. I am hopeful that he goes to counseling to get himself some help. He left because he said he needed "independence" and to be "on his own." I think that he is lost. We both quit our jobs and sold our house in June of '08 so that he could pursue his Ph.D at Michigan State. Now he wants out of the marriage and his school work is suffering. He spends most of his time play World of Warcraft because he said he can get lost in it.

Sorry probably more than you wanted but kind of painted the picture. Also helps me to type it so that I get mad and don't feel like calling him anymore

I am hopeful for myself for counseling because I need to find me again and figure out where I am in all of this. I will keep you updated on how the counseling is going.

[wolverine1997]

I see the problem now, HE'S A SPARTY! GO BLUE!

I tried to get my wife to go to conuseling with me. She went for a couple of sessions but quit and refuses to go back. I'm thinking about going on my own but wanted to get some feedback on it first. Thanks.

[KLC]

Being a Sparty is a problem :P I am also a GO BLUE fan. My daughter is a Junior at U of M.

[bluerain]

Is there someone else? I personally know 2 people who have lost their W/H's to WOW.

Wolverine, if you can find a good counsellor, I highly recommend it. The DB phone coaches are a really good resource also. You need to make sure that its someone that you can really have a good rapport with, and make sure that its not someone who is just determined to give you "divorce counselling".