Looks like I might soon be LBS...newcomer here

[brownidmom]

Hiya, everyone.

I am back from CT. Mostly a good trip.

Gardener, decided to let the boys get some sleep on Wed. night and avoid traffic. Woke them up at around 1:00 am Thursday morning just to get them into the car and cover them with blankets and then head out. It was one of the quickest trips to CT ever. No traffic whatsoever. Got there around 4:30 am and it did throw our sleep off a bit. S6 was whiny and had a fever when he woke up at 8:30 am. Thank God CVS is 24-hours, even on Thanksgiving. He has asthma, so I was a bit wary of him all day. At SIL, he lay on the couch watching movies while all the other kids were jumping around like chickens with their heads cut off. The food was excellent, but S6 didn't eat anything and wanted to go back to the hotel early, so I took him and left S9 with H since he didn't want to leave. S6 had a very rough night of sleep. He was whining all night and wrapped himself around my neck all night. He was burning hot and had me doing the same from his body heat.

H had his own agenda. His brother and the college-age cousins in for the holiday got into video games and made an entire weekend of it, going from one house to the other playing football, Madden '10.

Then onto the next house on Friday, leaving us at MIL house all day. We (myself, MIL, and boys went to SIL in the evening and H was at his cousin's house, came in after we were all asleep, well, not me. Up early on Saturday to be at nephew's bball game at 8:30 am. He did great, scored 32 of the 43 points scored by his team. He is 11 yo and about 5'7" already. His father is 6'6". But height isn't everything and the kid can shoot! S6 adores him and had a great time watching him play ball.

We went out to lunch and S6 ate more in one meal than he had eaten the rest of the trip thus far. H left us at BIL's house and went off to play XBOX360. Back to the twins' basketball game at 6:30 pm. They won, too! Then some time with MIL, SIL, and BIL before heading out last night around 10:15 pm. Boys slept the whole trip, got in around 1:30 am.

BTW, I didn't take issue with H disappearing all weekend because 1) H doesn't see most of the cousins very often, so he needed to catch up. 2) I didn't mind being away from him, love his family.

S6 came and got in bed around 9:30 am, (yep, told you our sleep was off) and slept until almost 1:00 p.m. He was up for about 2 hours and then back to sleep until we woke him around 5:30 to get up to eat something and shower for bed. He didn't eat much and is sitting next to me right now getting a nebulizer treatment. No fever and nurse at school can give him treatments, but still not sure he will get to go to school tomorrow. He has never slept so much before and I think I let him overdo it yesterday by taking him to 2 bball games, even though he sat next to me the whole time. His body obviously paid the price, thus all the sleep he needed today.

On the trip home last night, since boys were sleeping, I initiated a conversation with H, not about R to begin with...Earlier in the evening, right after bball game, MIL asked H if we were going to leave right then. Yes, I knew traffic could be a challenge but I was also very tired and didn't want the boys to be up late again. He looked at his watch, said "No, traffic will be too bad, will wait a while." I was annoyed and added my 2cents worth. "I am tired and am ready to go." H, looking straight in his mother's face while I am standing next to him, says, "You can go if you want to, I'm staying." Yes, I took issue with this. Number 1- it is not your decision when we leave, it should be our decision. Honestly, we had driven my car there and the thought did cross my mind to take the boys and leave, but I thought better of it because it would have been me acting purely out of anger. Number 2) I feel embarrassed and disrespected when you speak to me like that in front of other people. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking to me.

H tried to bring up the fact that none of his decisions have anything to do with me anymore and that he no longer takes the time to factor me in. I simply said that I am aware of his selfishness and have seen many examples of it over the last few years, but that I also know that one day, sooner or later, he would know that his beliefs about me are bull-oney. The kids were asleep, but in the car, and I won't use foul language in front of them no matter how I feel. I then used the word stupid regarding his point-of-view about me and my intentions. H tried to get in the last word somehow, always does, so do I. I didn't raise my voice and I wasn't sarcastic, but very matter-of-fact. End of convo- BIM: " I believe and know that you will figure it all out, whether near or from far away isn't the issue anymore. But you will know that you are wrong about many of your beliefs about me and the actions you have taken being a result of your issues, not mine."

And then...I let it go. Not another word uttered by me the remainder of the car ride. A 180 for me, yes. But not a 180 being used as a DB technique. A 180 for me because I have a tendency to get emotional during these conversations and let myself get very upset. I. AM. DONE. WITH. THAT.

Boys are in bed now, already sleeping. Hoping S6 sleeps the night through and feels better tomorrow. If not, one of us will be staying home with him tomorrow.

Gardener, I believe I was having my discussion around your exit last night.

Brit, couldn't really see NYC in the dark, but I love it too. I go up a few times a year for a show and shopping with a friend of mine. A great day trip. We always pick a great restaurant and have a great dinner, too.

Hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Too much to do tonight to check in on everyone's sitch, but will try to tomorrow. Goodnight.