my h has been in mlc, low testosterone and depressed separately and together for the past 3+ years.
he left almost 4 months ago, but has done MANY,MANY things for and with myself and children.
I have kept my cool and held my tongue so many times I cant count, however I an proud of myself because before counceling i couldnt have done it...
will this book help??
H got peeved over NOTHING yesterday, i think he may have been drinking...told me he would file for divorce if i didnt back off...hes done, cant live like this anymore, he has tried everything to make me happy...
he is a wonderful man, great father, awesome provider...do mlc and depressed men act this way??? i know, dumb ? this really hurts though...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Posted November 27, 2009 06:02 PM long story short as i can make it.
3+ years ago h went into a depression.treated with a/d. seemed to help.
12/06 we moved 600 miles away from family and friends.
05/07 h's dad has quadruple bypass...h drives home to see him through the surgery.
7/07 h starts drinking, staying out late a pretty much not caring a whole lot about anything. his marriage and myself are to blame...he is unhappy.
2/08 we move back 600 miles to our hometown. things seem better for a while then it starts again...
8/08 i take a stroke, no permanent damage thank god...things are tight with me not working for a while...
h is more restless, cant sleep, aggitated achy and just not happy, me and the marriage again
8/09 h blows up at me and me at him...he leaves. he has been out since. 10/09 h goes for check up a/d arent working symptoms are worse. dr orders bloodwork, comes back depleted testosterone. rx's androgel. dr explains andropause, low t, hormones in general and mlc. h is in denial. i keep praying.
10/09 take a vaca as a family have the BEST time ever.
11/09 go to a concert with h have a great time
h has always been here often as we have 2 small children. we do everything for them together.they are our lives.
thanksgiving was good, guys got everything ready for hunting season, women cooked, went to in laws for dessert awesome evening.
today h is in woods all day again for hunting preparations. finally calls at dinner time , i get pissed cause the man never checks his messages...anyways to explain why i was pissed, our daughter called him HOURS ago to tell him of her first loose tooth. now he is screaming at me because im a bit angry. tells me he cant do this anymore, all he does is try to make us happy and is told how and what he does is wrong. never appreciated. as of the 1st of the year he is filing for divorce... says he has tried to explain to me he needs time to work on himself and i wont back off.he cant take it, he's done
WHAT do I do now...i have been in conseling for almost a year and have truly corrected the issues i needed to...i was needy, didnt like him to do things without me, complained about money being tight...i though ALL people went through these things...I am FLOORED, i believed we were standing a chance as things were going a bit better on both ends.
I dont know if this is his way of forcing me to shut up and back off or if he truly means it... I as well as friends and family can see it that he want to come home...divorce??? can this have such a strong hold on him? cycling? please give me some input!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
no he doesnt drink anymore...i know that was a phase, he never was a drinker
not many issues other than the normal ups and downs, no affairs that I know of. he has given no indication or reason for me to suspect one...our sex life has always been amazing
i do believe our communication deteriorated when we became so busy with our children, jobs, and everyday life...we never made time for ourselves or each other.
i feel completely safe...without him here these past 4 months has ripped the security right out from underneath me!
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Ok. So where does your H live now? How far away is it. Do you think you could cut your communication back to just the children for the next little while? Is he still getting treatment for his MLC? MLC can last a very long time.
yes cutting the communication is exactly what i am trying to do.
yes, he uses a hormone gel...androgel. it has only been about 2 1/2 months since that started. dr says it can take 4-8 months b4 he is able to feel full effects of it...
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
Read DR, that will give you a good game plan, he is screaming for you to back off, you say how wonderful he is, did you ever tell him that? If we can get back to where you guys were just a few days ago, you might want to read the "5 love languages". Was he not hunting? I would doubt he could have his phone on and hunt at the same time? Just putting myself in his shoes.
yes,i am reading DR...making a lot of sense! I am BACKING WAY OFF!
yes, i commend him ALL of the time for ALL he does! it is like someone stole the man i married and left this one in his place...
yes, he was hunting. when the kids are used to sharing so much with him and him being here like when he was here...it is VERY hard to restrict them sometimes.
me 39 h 38 kids 9 and 6 h left 8/9/09 loving and devoted wife and mother still going...10 months later...
