Sandi. You are right, I have said some of this stuff to her before, but the difference this time is that I am also showing her with our son
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Not to disagree with bluerain, but I guess I see your W shaking her head at what you said a little differently. I think she may have felt as if she had already been down that road and perhaps didn't want to do that anymore, but IDK your thread that well.
She may be thinking this also, I honestly don't know. I guess reading what you wrote also makes sense to me as I can see her doing that as well.
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Let's be honest, you did hope she would change her mind, right? Why else would you bring it up? I know what you "said", but in truth, why would you bring it up?
I was prepared before hand that this would not be a conversation that would get me my marriage back, so I didn't go into with that in mind. I honestly can't remember how we got onto the topic of the relationship, whether it was my or her.
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The only thing you may have told her that she did not already know was about cheating on her. All the other things you said to her......you arent't telling me that is the very first time in all of your M that any of that has ever...ever been talked about? I don't think I've heard of a couple that got a D that the R was not discussed, so I doubt that you told her anything you have not already said before or that she didn't know.
No, I won't tell you that, cause we have discussed it before, but like I said, we talked about it, but never really understood what each other was trying saying. Again, it goes back to effective communication, and thats the point I was trying to make with her. That I've realised why we we not communicating and as a result, not resolving anything.
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but I think you need to see it from another POV. After this, maybe you will feel better, but the thing with a lot of LBH's is that it doesn't last long until they want to talk again.....trying to change her mind. So, I hope you can move forward and not pursue her.
I can understand why it doesn't last long before a LBH wants to discuss it again. To be honest, I would discuss it with her again right now, but I know it wont do me any good and it would push her away. Whats the general rule (1 month for every year of being married), so in my case, I guess I'm expecting it to take 11 months. Yes, it will be hard, and I hope she doesn't find some-one else in that time.
Bluerain was right about re-establishing the friendship, and this in itself will be difficult as she has trust issues with me, but it's what needs to be done before I can even hope for some sort of reconciliation. Again, I just hope she doesn't find someone in the mean time.
