She told me that she wanted to meet with me outside of her home as she didn't want our son getting the wrong idea in that we might be getting back together. This was the same excuse she used for not wanting to join us on our holiday to Fiji.
To me that pretty well sums up her decision, but we never know when somebody might change their mind before time for the trip. If she had used some other excuse, then I would say to hope she'd go for the sake of the son. Don't ask her again. If you do, then you will be pushy and it will turn her away. She knows you want her to go, so if she changes her mind, she will let you know.
Not to disagree with bluerain, but I guess I see your W shaking her head at what you said a little differently. I think she may have felt as if she had already been down that road and perhaps didn't want to do that anymore, but IDK your thread that well.
The same about what your sister said about your W not being able to sleep and that you gave her something to think about. Maybe I'm thinking like a WAW, but why would she not have already thought about the things you said??? And why wouldn't she be able to sleep??? Just b/c she got a little teary eyed...or b/c you told her something new? I don't think so, and I don't say that to be sarcastic whatsoever. I think your sister was telling you what you wanted to hear, and that is why the book says do not discuss our R with our relatives & friends. It is hard for them to be as objective or to tell you what you need to hear.
I'm just saying that most times conversations about the R with a WAW is not that productive.....as far as the LBH thinking he is going to change her mind by talking to her. Let's be honest, you did hope she would change her mind, right? Why else would you bring it up? I know what you "said", but in truth, why would you bring it up? The only thing you may have told her that she did not already know was about cheating on her. All the other things you said to her......you arent't telling me that is the very first time in all of your M that any of that has ever...ever been talked about? I don't think I've heard of a couple that got a D that the R was not discussed, so I doubt that you told her anything you have not already said before or that she didn't know.
I didn't say this to tear any hope down, but I think you need to see it from another POV. After this, maybe you will feel better, but the thing with a lot of LBH's is that it doesn't last long until they want to talk again.....trying to change her mind. So, I hope you can move forward and not pursue her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
