Hey SP, are you in counseling for yourself? It seems that you reeaally want us all to understand how bad it is, how f*cked over you feel, how WAW is f*cking with your kids, how you are now being driven to the point of consciously taking up a habit that you gave up so many moons ago and is detrimental to your health.
There's no shame in getting help, it really seems that there are elements that are taking pieces out of you. That's normal and part of why divorce sucks. It is also normal to get help when so much of your life and well-being are affected by circumstances beyond your control. I think sometimes the smartest, most analytical are the one's to take the biggest hit by the lack of perceived control in these sitches. There's no logic, no fixing it...
